Thursday, December 30, 2010

Of new beginnings and old bridges

take a sack full of rose petals
and throw them in the air
its like blood rain
drops, red, fresh and soft
scarring me each time they rest on my skin,
like little razor blades with blood on their edges

take a sack full of broken glass pieces
throw them in the air
its like diamond rain
drops, red, fresh and soft
scarring me each time they rest on my skin
like little shards of diamonds,
cutting the fingers of the men who carve them out of black fossil stones

i dont like flowers
they lie, they die, they are pretty
i hate pretty
pretty is false, life is ugly
just like beauty from up close
thorns are real,

so give me that crown of thorns
nail my feet and hands
not because im a martyr
im no saint
i just like pain
im a bdsm-slut-addict-junkie

its a new sunset on the horizon
but its the same old sky
the same old sun

walking down a never ending road
walking into the sunset
new or old

Friday, July 09, 2010

Run & Float

Hold my hand and close your eyes
Hold my hand and run
Run downhill
And upstream
With the wind
And against it


Like the tide,
Like the clean monsoon breeze
Away from time
Into oblivion

Leave my hand and float
Away from me
To the top
And let me sink
To the bottom
Into oblivion

Tuesday, July 06, 2010


I stand over the bloody mess.
It's a lump of flesh, its gender yet undecided. Its face indistinguishable. There is blood splattered everywhere.
I'm covered in its (my?) blood, blood paints the walls the floor the sky.
Its a red world.
I'm sure i've killed it, yet I can hear its heartbeat. Faint like the thunder of a distant storm.
I kneel over it and get to work with my knife. The point pricks the nipple reaching for the life vein. It inches deeper cutting through tissue, cartilage, fat, muscle till it finds the thin tube still pumping blood.
Or at least trying to.
The edge of the blade tears open the skin, blood floods out filling the space between the organs.
Its a mess really, a bloody mess and its not over yet.
The damn thing now begins to move, its fingers shiver, reach out to hold onto something that it doesnt know exists... its leg twicthes trying to get away from me, from fate, from destiny.
From death.
What next, I think. Should i just cut its throat?
Will that end this madness?
I'm not sure anymore.
What the hell, we've come this far haven't we... so now my blade rests on the slim neck.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Pain, love, blood

there's a storm coming...
i can hear the rattling of bones...
the dead hate storms...
it floods their graves...
graves are like their homes you know

pain inspires poetry..
so does love..
pain inspires love,
or is it the other way round?

when it rains,
i dance
like the wind,
like the flightless bird
caught in the eye of the storm

its all a whirl out there tonight
the wind's blown the stars outta the sky
they slipped on the wet clouds and fell
to the ground
like raindrops...

Music inspires poetry
music inspires pain
music is love
its the only thing keeping me sane

nothing inspires poetry like insanity
the insane hurt all the time
which is why they never cry...

i cut my veins
my blood runs down my hand
thick drops fall off my fingertips
its the bloodiest red nail-paint you can get

where the drops fall
the earth becomes red
red mist rises from the spot
as if it were meat fat on a hot skewer

a little red sapling breaks through
a devil-shoot of a devil tree
it will bear devil-fruit
they will taste like my flesh
the juice will be red
like my blood, like wine.

in the land of the dead
the living are the condemned.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Act five, scene six

An inch at a time
a straw at a time
the nest falls apart

Its all coming apart
crumbling into dust
a brick at a time
a card at a time
the castle comes crashing down

i stand and watch
i press my body against the structure
to give it support
to bid goodbye

The bricks come crashing down on my hands
breaking my fingers like dry twigs
i try to dig into the cracks
to keep it all together

But the cracks are too deep
too wide
spreading like a flooding river
it carries me with it, into the land of despair

the show must go on
they tell me
but i pull the plug
curtains the end roll the credits
take a bow
and exit stage
there is nothing left to be done
no more scenes to play
no lines to deliver

ill die with make up on my face
white cheeks and black holes for eyes
red lipstick smeared across my mouth

'you wanna know how i got these scars?'

Saturday, March 06, 2010


I cant sleep
there is too much light in my room,
it's like someone turned on a huge spotlight in the sky
and its directed straight at my eyes.

I open my mouth to yawn
and swallow the moon,
now the spotlight is in me

Moonlight pours out of my pores
you would think its cold,
but that's an illusion created by the darkness of the night
inside you, it burns.

Im on a slow boil
my eyes become moons,
my mouth is a moon
I'm aglow with moonlight
like a comic superhero without special powers.

The moonlight lifts me up
carrying me upwards,
I float like a feather caught in a gust of wind
with no destiny,
no home,
no destination.

I float away into eternity,
tomorrow night will have a new moon.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

So I live

Its been raining tears since the morning,
so i shut my eyes and dream
the endless depths of the ocean,
the sky
u fly, u float
one way or the other,
u live

Monday, January 25, 2010

Endless Eternal Silence

I untie one knot, only to get tangled in a hundred others
this is endless,
this effort
like the burning of the Sun
but this night has no day.

The glaciers melt and submerge all that lies around them
fish become people
people fish
its endless
this drowning of the fish

A bird loses its feather, and with it, its flight
a featherless wing
a flightless bird
its endless
this flight
this fight against a fall
as inevitable as the ultimate victory of Darkness over Light

When it all ends
Hell's fires will drown in molten glaciers
and all that will remain
wll be the icy darkness of eternal silence

Thursday, January 14, 2010


In the cold everything slows down
life runs in slow motion
the hands of my clock
freeze over
crack, and shatter

Its so cold, it freezes the moon
it melts and falls to the Earth
like snow flakes

The blood in my veins is frozen
it clogs my arteries
sharp edged icicles pierce the walls of my heart
my organs slowly die like stray animals in a snowstorm

Nobody can bring a snowman to life
its built to melt
sooner or later thaw sets in
and it melts, like a plastic doll on fire

There is no warmth left within me